So let’s face it, if you are dating these days there are all kinds of things that you and everyone else is trying to figure out. Believe it or not, there are still these things called dates! You know where the guy picks up the lady, goes to dinner and a movie. The thing is that dating, relationships and sex is becoming so casual. Everyone is trying to figure out the boundaries while looking for that special someone.
At some point, you have a discussion with someone you are dating or hanging out with, to decide the status of what that relationship means. You know that conversation that feels somewhat awkward and exciting about what is “this” we are doing? Titles seem to be up in the air; boyfriend and girlfriend sounds so high school. But, you want more than just friends.
I think it is safe to say that both men and women dating today think that the dating world is revolving around sex but, truly that is not the case. Of course, with the good comes the bad but, most people are really looking for things that actually matter like compatibility, trust, and loyalty. It is so important for both men and women to set stands, expectations, respect and value for yourself so that others will.
With that being said, here are 7 questions answered by both men and women; were only the gender was changed in each question. All questions were answered by 50 men and women from ages of 21 to 55.
What’s your opinion on monogamous relationships? (Meaning commitment and sleeping with only one woman/man at a time)
- “It all depends on the situation; I’m married and have been over 15 years. We are monogamous and are happy however, we have been open before. We didn’t want other people but, were not satisfied with each other in the bedroom. So, we opened up our status and it saved our marriage and we are back to monogamous”
- “It’s the only type of relationship I’ve ever been in. I don’t agree with sleeping around and cheating. It’s an extremely selfish thing to do. It never has a good outcome and hurts everyone involved.”
- “I’m totally for it!! If one women can make you happy with just her then, it is a great thing! Especially, at this day and age.”
- “If you have found someone you love, care for, and want to spend your life with, being monogamous is only makes the connection, physically and emotionally that much stronger… If I’m in love, in relationship and she feels the same, monogamous should be no problem.”
- “While monogamous relationships are an ideal situation I believe there’s also, value to open relationships. However, open relationships can lead to disaster, as I know all too well.”
- “I’m a strong believer in commitment. Dating around is fine but, don’t sleep with every guy I go out with.”
- “I think it is the only way to be and should be if you serious about that person.”
- “I think that if you are committed to someone it should be monogamous. However, I have been in open relationships and find that someone always ends up hurt in the long run. I wouldn’t want an open relationship in the future.”
- “To me monogamous relationships are best. Dating around and sleeping around is not safe these days with STD’s and everything else!”
- “I’m a one man at a time woman!”
Do you believe in casual no strings attached or titles and why?
- “I like titles but, NSA (No strings attached) is always fun! As long as no jealousy is in the mix and both parties are in agreement.”
- “I believe in titles, they definitely serve a purpose. I feel that once feelings are established titles are there to help reassure those feelings and commitment.”
- “Titles because, I get attached and I’d have to hurt anyone trying to F’k with my girl.”
- “I don’t mind titles but, if I were ever in a NSA it would have to be with a friend and someone I could trust.”
- “No I don’t believe in NSA, cause there’s no morality in having a few, you basically become animals with no inhibition or ability to find your soul mate.”
- “It depends. I like titles but men don’t seem to want commitment and NSA comes up more often than not. I’m ok with NSA if we are both in agreement.”
- “I believe in both. Titles are great. It lets the other know he is your and vice versa but NSA can be a good thing too. It really just depends where you’re at in your life.”
- “I like titles, so everyone knows he’s taken and to me it makes me feel secure with my relationship and with that person.”
- “I have had both. Casual no strings attached has always ended badly. I think titles are necessary.”
- “NSA was fun in my early 20’s but, with boundaries set that both parties agree on! NSA over a long period of time can cause feelings to develop and attachments which, can end badly. I wouldn’t want NSA now.”
What is the most attractive thing you find about women/men?
- “Eyes go a long way and so does their sense of humor.”
- “I like all kinds of shapes and sizes of women, personalities, eyes, legs, butt, boobs and long hair.”
- “Self Confidence is sexy as hell and eyes… Love eyes!”
- “Self Confidence and Intelligence”
- “The physical attributes of a woman are the first thing that catches the eye, but ultimately, it’s the intelligence that keeps me coming back and turns me on more than just a pretty face. A good heart is neck and neck with intelligence and is attractive.”
- “Sense of humor is really attractive to me and loyalty!”
- “I love a man’s eyes!”
- “I love his lips and eyes! If he is driven and outgoing even more!”
- “Physically it differs. I like manly man, broad shoulder and not too thin. Mentally it is honesty and compassion.”
- “The personality and smile.”
What aggravates or appeals to you about societies view on women/men in or out of shape?
- “The way I see it, everyone is different. Who wants to look fake. If a woman is happy with herself why change to please others.”
- “Having a young daughter I hate the fact they base what society expects them to look like and never talk about inside beauty. I know a lot of ugly women who are gorgeous and a lot of gorgeous women who are ugly.”
- “ I like all shapes and sizes. I don’t like a snobby attitude. What appeals to me is personality. I love all shapes and sizes.”
- “Society has an unrealistic view on what a health woman is. They glorify sickly thin shapes as attractive, while largely avoiding women whose physiques are more muscular and tone.”
- “It’s shallow of people to judge but, it is literally in our DNA to be attractive to certain looks or shapes. It’s instinctive.. So that the best genes can be passed on to offspring (Seen that on TV ha-ha) but, any criticism to anyone is hurtful and should be avoided.”
- “I think society is ridiculous about how they make huge deal of men with a 6 pack and they make a big deal out of “dad bods”. I’d rather have a real man with some meat on him.”
- “Being in shape means nothing to me.”
- “Society sucks! I want a man who is not tiny but not really built. Manly… that I can feel completely comfortable with outside and inside of the bedroom.”
- “I like a man in shape because, I’m in shape. However, I am not against men who are not in shape.”
- “Being in shape is important; I want someone who is going to live with me for a long time. However, being in shape doesn’t mean having a 6 pack or being cut. I’ll take a real man any day over the gym addicted man.”
If you could tell women/men one thing; a secret per say, from a man/woman’s perspective on dating and sex what would it be?
- “Be proud of yourself and flaunt what you got, and show a man that you like him and let him know what you like.”
- “If you text me and I don’t text back immediately, even if it’s a read message, it’s not because you aren’t important or that I’m doing something sneaky. We are two separate people and we are allowed to do things without staying in constant contact at any given time. Don’t be so possessive! On sex, if there is something you like or want, even if you think it is weird, TELL ME. Chances are, it isn’t weird and since I want you to be satisfied too in the bedroom I’ll do it.”
- “I enjoy the hunt. I think most guys do. If you’re just throwing it at me all the time it is not exciting as me going after it. Not all the time but yes, sometime hold out.”
- “I would tell a women that when you find a guy, make sure your needs are meet before his in the bedroom. If he is only asking you for oral or isn’t really worried about your needs when you are sexually active then, he isn’t really worried about you in or outside of the bedroom.”
- “I think most guys like the chase but whenever the time finally comes, it is nice for a women to take lead from start to finish sometime.”
- “The bedroom is the only place I want a man to be dominant.”
- “Pay attention to details! Most women need longer time to get going. Take time to make sure your woman is also turned on and ready instead of just getting right to business.”
- “Don’t always rush into wanting sex when dating. Then whenever you do get it, make sure everyone is satisfied.”
- “Be open with me. Tell me what you like and dislike. Men are satisfied easier than women so if that is the case, most women don’t mind getting the first one out of the way if your turn around is not horrible.”
- “Just because we don’t want to have sex every night doesn’t mean we are not attracted to you. Don’t think offering a quickie is making it any better. Don’t worry just about your needs.”
If you are talking to a women/man whom you like but, it is only talking/friends; who would you prefer make the first move to taking the step into moving into a serious relationship?
- “I’d rather make the first move but, it would be okay if they did.”
- “I’d prefer if more women would take the first step honestly. I find there is way to much pressure on the men to make the leap because it’s our preconceived duty.”
- “I would like for her to let it be known she wants to go future.”
- “It is a serious boost of confidence for a man to KNOW that she’s ready. Nothing hurts a man’s ego more than a woman sending us all the green lights then slamming on the brakes.”
- “I like the idea of a woman letting me know she wants to move forward so that I’m not questioning anything. It needs to be mutual so expressing feelings isn’t a bad thing and it helps to be on the same page.”
- “I’m always shy about making the first move unless I know for sure he is feeling the same. If you are dating/talking to a this person for awhile things should eventually progress.”
- “Him, because I don’t want to get shot down if he doesn’t want to be more than friends.”
- “I’m old fashioned in this sense, so definitely the man! It takes guts to make the first move. To me a man doing this shows he cares enough for me.”
- “I don’t mind making the first move if I know he is feeling the same way.”
- “I think it should be either or, whoever is feeling the strongest about these feelings should initiate moving forward.”
If you had a son/daughter would you want him/her to date someone like you or someone else?
85% of men said yes, they would like for her to date a man like them.
95% of women said yes, they would want their son to date a women like them.