Happiness and change are a matter of effort!

Recently, I had someone tell me that he didn’t know how to be happy or grow into a different person. That he didn’t know how to pull himself out of the nasty rut he was living daily.  He asked me, “how do you just change your perspective, attitude and life?” My response…

“Happiness and change are both really a matter of effort. If you are not happy and want change, what are you doing about it?”

As people it is inevitable that we are going to experience things that will trigger negative thoughts and emotions. We can’t help it, we are just wired that way. However, we have a choice on how we allow it to affect us. It is your state of mind, attitude and determination that will help you reach your goals; for the type of life you desire.  That saying, “Mind Over Matter” pops in my head because I find it to be very true. Yet, so many people are skeptical over such a theory and are reluctant to change. Most people fear changes and differences because they stretch us to grow and learn. Why does our culture like being negative and pessimistic?

The truth of the matter is, that life is what we choose to make it.  Whatever you think, believe and hold on to will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act, like you have always acted. Which means you will continue to get, what you have always gotten. If you want different results, then you have to decide to change your attitude and state of mind. Once your thoughts and outlook have changed your actions, attitude and life will also, begin to change.

When you lack motivation or feel it dwindling away, consider what you are specifically working towards. Ask yourself if you have control of yourself or not. Believe it or not, changing your attitude and emotions comes down to whether or not we have gained control of our mind, emotions and actions. We all have unconscious and internal drivers that often control us; our emotions, actions, thoughts and attitude.  When we gain control and become self-aware of those things it becomes easier to find motivation. You will find that your actions will no longer be mindless and automatic, but rather conscious, focused and self-directed. 

I want you to take a moment to think about your current situation.  What are the different factors that are affecting you?  It may be a failed relationship, losing a job, financial pressures, or internal-struggles like self-worth and insecurities.  It’s important to process these factors and ask yourself; will you allow these hardships and setbacks the power to control your happiness, success and the life you want to have? Change can be difficult because some habits and emotions are deeply ingrained in us.  You have to ultimately decide whether you’re going to be willing to put in the difficult effort towards a meaningful change . You will have to learn to break your habits, patterns and familiarities to embrace change and growth. Your ability to find and keep the motivation that feeds your need for change, will ultimately determine on whether you will be able to break long-standing routines and patterns; to face obstacles that lie within yourself and your environment.  You decide.  You choose. You either will lower your goals to match your efforts or you will increase your efforts to achieve the desired goals.  If you truly want to achieve your goals, you will do the necessary work to disrupt unwanted emotions, habits, and behaviors. By being aware and conscious of what these factors are you can change and replace them with new desired actions, emotions and useful methods.

Self-development and improvements are often difficult to achieve if you are not aware of the factors that are impacting you.  We change and learn from experiences all the time and don’t even realize it. When you think about Mind Over Matter and Self-Control it can be overwhelming. We have spent a life-time of living through different experiences that have shaped us into who we have become and those things trigger our actions, thoughts and emotions. When you can change your environment, reactions, approaches, and your thoughts it becomes easier to see things from a new perspective.  It will become easier to reduce fear and unwanted emotions to fully gain control over your life.

With each small goal you achieve, you are allowing for more opportunities and laying down another stepping stone. Celebrate your successes and failures. Understand that failure teaches you how to grow, develop, and try something new. Life is so much better when you can enjoy your efforts and achievements along the way. Remember to appreciate the smaller and simpler things you are blessed with. A lot of times unexpected opportunities can be overlooked or unappreciated when they have resulted from some of the challenges we have experienced. Our achievements, failures, past nor future define who we are or who we must be. At anytime in your journey you have the power to change your path. You’ll either put in the effort or you won’t to discover those possibilities, but ultimately you are responsible for your own happiness and life. No one else can change who you are or your life, but you. 




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