Just about everyday I see on my Facebook page people complaining, venting or loving their relationship status. Well one of my friends was doing just this on her Facebook out of frustration regarding men and dating. Here is her post…
“So to continue with my earlier thought. When did everything become so casual? I’m floored at how no one seems to want a real connection anymore. I realize we live in a time of instant gratification, but at what point did relationships become so disposable? What is wrong, with only wanting to be with one person? Don’t people nowadays realize that when you connect with someone on more than just a physical level; that it opens-up so many other levels of connection, that make everything so much better? Have you ever had a random hook-up that completely satisfied you? I doubt it! Complete satisfaction comes from someone taking the time to get to know you….your likes and dislikes. Listening…really listening and not rushing! I CRAVE to be held, listened to, talked to and cherished, what is wrong with that? A relationship is work…and I have never shied away from that! I won’t settle… this is the exact reason I sleep alone. If anyone else feels the same…drop me a line. I can’t be the only one who feels this way!!”
This is the only male response to her post out of the many posted….
“I guess the question isn’t whether I’m brave enough to comment, but can I muster up the energy to finish a debate where I am the only male present among master debaters? Screw it why not! Okay, so you asked when did everything become so casual….well in my opinion probably gradually our morals have declined over a long period of time and to the point where it’s not shunned, but ever so popular to be casual. I don’t condone this animalistic behavior and there are some men that still desire a deep connection or classic real life love story movie. They are just few and far in between it seems. Most men that aren’t players have been drained of the energy for such real connections, by women that are players, liars, cheaters, and etc. These men have been burnt beyond recognition and it’s easier to just hook up randomly then take the risk of the mental and emotional damage again. Then there are the ones buried so bitterly in hurt and misogyny because of the deepness of their pain from past relationships. Carelessness slowly grows over time, until it’s just whatever, and women just become objects that are fun to play with. Women are scary because of the power they could posses of ones heart. So it is a, “keep it safe” mentality that keeps men like me in a shallow connection. The desire is still there, but it’s locked the hell up and put away in a safe place. Where it can’t be put in deep hole of self-destructive shit again. I guess the only way to get someone to except you entirely is make them fall in love with you because there is always gonna be something one doesn’t like. As far as walls go, you got to beat them down and some are way tougher than others. I would say the only way to sort threw the casual ones is, just don’t give it up. There are those that are looking for something serious, but too damn horny to have the patience to stick with it. There are those out there who have given up and are also, just looking for hope in the right person to open up to again.”
Well, I loved her sense of apprehension on the matter. The fact is, I think this is completely true for both men and women. For the ones that are maturely looking for something real anyway. The response from a man’s prospective is well, priceless. It took some guts to comment among a list of women to debate where a man stands on the topic. Sadly, he is probably right, but I think most people are feeling this way.
I read somewhere a quote “Situationships and Sextionships” – Let’s just chill and hang out, have sex, being confused about the fact that we are together, but not really together; while we have an undeniable connection and official emotions for each other.
Nowadays that is what everyone seems to be doing. A “Situationship” is what I found myself in at this very moment and I hate it! I want a rock in a world full of paper. I want that secure support from my partner, someone I can break on and they will not tear away. We all want that kind of emotional support that will be the glue for us while, we are barely holding on; in that moment of need. I found her post to be right on point with how I was feeling in the moment and it resonated with me. I felt complied to scream at the top of my lungs because I too, was another woman wondering the same thing.
Now I’m not saying that any gender is better at relationships or dating. The fact of the matter is, we as society have become casual in a world full of “Situationships and Sextionships” because nobody believes in putting in the effort; out of fear of rejection or hurt we build these walls and forget about morals. This trend is continuing… BUT who are the ones continuing it? Is it the younger generation, that is seeking out a good time? Is the mid-age group, that is scared of the idea of being emotional hurt? Sometimes things are just not as simple as we wish they would be. Or are we making things more complicated than they need to be?
Regardless, of how you feel about this topic it is important to remember that we all need to love and respect one another during the journey. Finding that person who compliments who you are, as an individual is difficult to find. Most of us are longing for a real companionship and connection that forms a true union of love. It’s simple, treat others as you would want to be treated.