What’s this about love at first sight?

Do you believe in love at first sight? What about… loving someone, but not being in love with them?


Photo credit to free images http://www.freeimages.com/photo/it-s-just-love-1477931
Photo credit to free images http://www.freeimages.com/photo/it-s-just-love-1477931

What do you think about the whole love at first sight phenomena? I used to believe in love at first sight. I used to believe that love was enough and if you loved someone that things would work out. Boy was I naïve.  Sometimes you can love someone with all of your heart, but not like them as a person; or they can be poisonous to you. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are good for you. You may love them, but they may not have the best intentions or returning love for you.  Sadly, love itself is not enough. Don’t you just wish it was like the movies? When you meet someone and you “just know”  it’s right and that person will be your forever.

I guess the main reason I don’t believe in love at first sight is because, you don’t know someone at first sight. Love means acceptance; loving the good with the bad. Love at first sight to me sounds like LUST. You’re physically attracted to them, want to know them more and want to be around that person more than you are used to. That doesn’t make it love… love without knowledge of who and what type of person they are is simply not love, sorry.

I do believe that you can experience deep emotions, some type of love if you will, with a person sexually without completely knowing who they really are. (I mean come on, it takes a long time to really get to know someone.)  You may even have this type of emotional connection and know in the back of your mind that you while you care for them, and enjoy spending time with them; your still questioning if this person is really meant for you. How frustrating is that? To have a connection with someone, care a lot about them, but something makes you hesitate.

Which brings me to, do you believe that you can love someone, but not be in love with them? I have heard this expression many times and some people believe it can happen while others don’t. You either love them or you don’t right? Well it isn’t that simple. I know, I know… can’t something be simple in life like love because, everything else is already complicated enough!

I do believe that you can love someone and not be in love with them. You can sincerely care for them, have emotions towards them and not be “in love” with them. I think it depends too on how much you value the difference in the labeling or wording of loving someone and being in love with someone. Do you leave someone you love for the possibility of that extraordinary experience of passion? Loving someone is a feeling, an emotion… Being in love with someone is an action and obsession.  Some people are looking to be in love not just loved. We often leave a wonderful partner for the hope of more.

Regardless of what you believe, the reality of it is that relationships tend to evolve just like everything else does. They go through many different emotions from the honeymoon stage, to highs and lows. Love can be the most wonderful thing in the world and the most horrible.  Love is tricky thing! Nonetheless, people do love each other and will not or do not end up together.

To me it’s all about choices. What we choose to do in life and whom with, whom we choose to love and commit to. Everything requires work. Nothing is ever simple or just given to us. It really just comes down to what you feel, what you want and whether or not you choose differently. What type of emotional contentment are you wanting and looking for?

Tell me your thoughts on love at first sight; loving someone and not be in love with them. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

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