Managing Your Emotions

Have you ever considered what would happen if you could learn how to manage your emotions and apply them accordingly to things in the right manner?  Have you ever been at an emotional war with yourself? Have you felt guilty for removing toxic people you love from your life?  Have you done something and you knew better than to do it, but done it anyway; feeling horrible afterwards? What happens when your actions don’t always agree with your emotions and you somehow haven’t adjusted yet?  It is difficult to manage your actions, emotions and experiences all at the same time!  It’s like you want to let go of the past, live in the moment, evolve and grow, but you can’t seem to get all of the urges under control. It’s frustrating and overwhelming at times.

Emotions… they have so much power over your actions, thoughts, and life. They develop at times without even knowing and realizing it. These emotions can leave you dealing with different mental thoughts and struggles you aren’t always prepared for or ready to understand. Emotions such as delightfulness, happiness, fearfulness, loneliness, anger, resentfulness, vulnerabilities and love all affect us differently.

Our feelings and thoughts can become our biggest enemy in our life if we allow them to; when we don’t know what to do with them. It’s a difficult balance between coping and learning from our emotions; to gain control of our thoughts and actions. Have you ever wanted to feel numb or just forget the pain for a short period of time? Have you ever wanted to freeze time; so that you could hold on to certain feelings and soak them in?

Emotions have the ability to sabotage our lives because we allow them to subconsciously control us; by not addressing or acknowledging them. When we pay attention to them, they teach us a lot about who we are and our individual needs.  If you can learn to come face to face  with your feelings, accept them and learn, while working through them; you can reduce stresses and increase happiness in your life. 

I think at some point, we all have moments or experiences that affect us so much… that they simply change us. We don’t even realize how or when it is happening.  Ours minds aren’t designed to be self-conscious and aware, it’s designed to be in the moment and learn from feeling we encounter along the way. Emotions just develop and occur during this thing we call life’s journey.  It’s one thing to say to you, address your feelings to grow, but another completely to try manage them effectively. 

Some people tend to deal with emotions by expressing them by laughter, crying, and maybe throwing a tantrum or a physical altercation.  Expressing and communicating your feelings is healthy. (If done appropriately, I don’t encourage physical violence what so ever.) Expressing and communicating feelings does a lot for your mental stability and growth for coping. 

Some people suppress their feelings refusing to acknowledge them or deal with them.  They pretend that everything is fine when it isn’t. These people tend to get angry easily and are walking, ticking-time bombs; that eventually burst over something that has nothing to do with the actual underlining issues.

When we understand how we deal with our emotions we can learn how to manage and gain control over them. We begin to learn and understand our thoughts and actions by acknowledging our feelings that resulted because of  an occurrence or experience. We slowly become more self-aware and develop a better tool and defensive mechanism. 

Society tends to think and accept how genders should associate their emotions and managing them. In terms of self-development and growth this frustrates me for both genders. Women are expected to express emotions as a way of caring, showing empathy and vulnerabilities. As a way of having feminine qualities. It’s also, quite the double standard though because for a long time, men found women unable to make important decisions because of their so-called inability to control their feelings. Women are “supposed to be” weaker, emotionally and mentally in terms of gender. It doesn’t mean we are.

However for men especially, society expects them to suppress their feelings in order to appear stronger and masculine. Men don’t express or communicate feelings the same as women because they would be thought of as, less of a man. Men tend to express anger and frustrations easiest, but that isn’t always the emotions they are actually feeling. Men are “supposed to be” emotionally and mentally stronger in terms of gender. It doesn’t mean they are.

I don’t think one gender is emotionally and mentally stronger than the other. We are all human and experience feelings and deal with them differently. Both men and women can suffer from depression, anxiety and stress. We all experience disappointments from having expectations that can lead to anger and resentment.  We all feel fear to escape from dangers. We experience attractions from lust, that can lead to love. We all have connections with others who share similarities, that lead to friendships. 

We can all benefit from learning and understanding our emotions and thoughts; to manage and grow from them. By doing so, we are becoming less impulsive and more self-aware with our decisions, attitude and actions. It’s difficult. It requires self-control, awareness and persistent efforts. When it is all said and done with though, the efforts are well worth the rewards. It’s liberating to feel things and understand how they impact you; so that you can make wiser choices and apply better methods to achieving whatever it is, you need. At some point, we all should realize it isn’t always about anyone else, but ourselves. We all need to take responsibility for our choices, actions, and life. Even if things happen to you that were out of your control as a child or circumstances. Understand that the past is behind you and can never be changed. If you can learn to deal with your emotions from those circumstances you may be able to prevent it from happening again.  If we aren’t satisfied with our environment, mental state of mind, success and happiness than we have to be willing to put in the work to change it. You are responsible for your own happiness and life… each day is a new day to give it a try. What’s holding you back? 

“Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way; that is not easy.” Aristotle


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