It all started with a kiss and a hug good-night…
As I laid them down to bed I thought to myself, “my goodness when did they get so big?” They being my daughter who will be turning five in a little over a month and my son who just made one a few months ago. It triggered a thought that someday my babies will be all grown up and gone. Yes they will grow up and here I am rushing them off to bed because, I still had so much to do. There is simply not enough time in the day. I still needed to do some laundry, sweep and mop, clean up the kitchen from dinner, not to mention take a shower to clean myself. Time already goes by so fast and here I am speeding it along even more.
Everyday I rush myself and my children from one task to the next. Always distracted by the chaos and demands of life that I forget to cherish these moments I’m living in now. It’s a sobering and guilt-tripping thought to realize that the reality is that someday my children will leave my home to face the world on their own.
One day I will be deprived of my overwhelming, wonderful, terrifying, world of having small innocent and dependent children. I’ll be older, grey-haired missing their presence and wondering again how the time flew by so fast. Looking back at their life because it all seemed to have happened in a blink of an eye. Asking myself if I done everything I could do for them? Have I taught them everything that I needed to teach them? Did my choices and actions help prevent them from being a mental mess? I’ll be asking myself then, what I’m asking myself now, “Am I doing a good enough job, Am I a good Mother, Did I do everything I could do?” I’ll be recalling the memories of bring them home from the hospital, their first steps, potty training, learning to eat on their own, the first words spoken and learning to talk, learning their ABC’s, just those pure raw moments of watching them discover something new for the first time. I’ll actually miss fighting over what they can wear, making sure they had a bath, brushed their teeth, and do I even dare to mention the teenage years and dating….
Every single day they get a little older and more independent. Someday they will make their own choices and have their own opinions. They will grow to have friends I will never meet, experiences things they will not always share with me, have some good and bad days around their own lives. I realize that this is part of the journey of having children. That they will grow up and leave the nest. This is to be expected… Yeah, Yeah I know that. Part of being a parent means nourishing their needs, body, mind and soul. With time going by so quickly it is these everyday simple things that I’m go to miss the most with them.
I cannot put into words how wonderful and scary it is to be a parent. It’s absolutely amazing the amount of love I have for my children. I pray that as the time continues to pass that I can instill important knowledge for them to use throughout their life journey. That they never look back and I think I wish my mom had more time for me when I was younger. I’m beyond grateful for my children, they are a precious gift that I never want to take for granted.
“Sometime you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” ~Anonymous