It’s hard to conceive

Go ahead and leave

Walk away and go

Be like everyone else I know

My biggest fear, is dependability

How it exposes my vulnerability

My father left us when we were young

My mother’s addictions is where she clung

Both so selfish with their own need

They did more than make us bleed

So naive and young

To marriage I sprung

To only find more pain

And loneliness to fully gain

There were no compromises

Simply broken promises

I fell out of love

When my son became an angel above

When he left me alone to grieve

The loss of our child, a pain hard to conceive.

Trusting issues yes but I have an excuse

Just to name one, how about sexual abuse.

Only fourteen with cervical cancer

How I managed to survive my life, I have no answer.

I expect people to leave,

You may find that hard to believe

But I expect that and more

Because of the life, I have already bore

I expect the good and the bad

It’s what keeps me from going mentally mad

At this point it’s difficult to disappoint me

Because of everything I have learned to see

I don’t look for your pity nor sorrow

I keep pushing through for tomorrow

I believe in the light found from the dark

There is always a little spark

What I’m looking for

Is so much more

Than just damage control

But a match for my healing soul.

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