Scared of my own mentality

Dark clouds try to start forming,
but I push them away each morning.
Two different sides of me;
both begging to be free.

One has the colors of a rainbow; pretty and bright.
She is full of hope, faith, and sunlight.
The other has things found in the night;
darkness, shadows, and despair with no sign of light.

Both fighting to be present and dominate.
Taking turns with the time of day, they rotate.
During the day, the darkness will hibernate
so the brightness can illuminate.

With the sun I find my strength;
as long as, I keep everyone at arm’s length.
In little things I find my enjoyments;
In people I only find more disappointments.

When the sun goes down,
the shadows come out to play and look around.
Darkness finds me,
there is no escaping its realty.

In the darkness of the black I cry,
no coping methods around to apply.
The past and the questions I can’t seem to shake,
my mind doesn’t give me a break.
Anxiety and loneliness leave no room to negotiate;
depression and twisted thoughts love to manipulate.

There in the darkness I find no sleep,
into my room the shadows they creep.
I have to wait for sunrise for safety.
At night abandonment and loneliness chase me.

Each day I manage to hold fast to the light,
only to be scared of shadows lurking in the night.
Am I crazy or do I have a split personality?
I’m scared of my own mentality…

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