Reflecting on your circumstances

Do you know what type of thinker you are?

Do you know if you are a Critical, Analytical Thinker or an Emotional Thinker?  Lets start off by, reviewing what that means shall we. Critical and analytical thinking is a rational thinking involving critique. It is making clear judgments based on reason and well thought out ideas. Critical thinking involves analyzing, evaluating, observation, logic and a lot of reflection. Emotional thinking really known as Emotional Intelligence is the ability to identify and control or manage your emotions. It is emotional awareness and regulating those emotions to make decisions and problem solving.

Emotions have a large influence on our judgment and choices. Now, it is not for me to say that critical thinking over emotional thinking is right nor wrong.  What I would like to argue, is that emotions should affect our reasoning in problem solving and perspective. What affects our feelings from a good vs. bad experience? What state of consciousness are we in when we associate those feelings? Well, we all know what gives us pain and joy but, it is not that easy.

Take a moment to look back…

When a life altering moment happens we reflect back to it, tend to hold on to it, relive and dwell on that moment.  It can be a good or bad moment and we are going to take that experience and try to learn from it, or we should. In my case, I was able to learn from other people around me as well as, my own experiences.

Things will happen to you and regardless of what you do that experience will affect you. It will affect your emotions, comfort zone, mindset, and those things will affect your decisions in life. You will either A.) Let it control you, consume you, and hunt you or B.) Let it go, forgive and learn from it. Let’s take a moment to discuss both options A and B. Option A is not being able to let go. Letting go sounds so easy but, I can assure you it is not. It is difficult to forgive people or let go of pain and hurt. What you may not realize is that living in the past is destroying your future. You can’t see or appreciate the things happening in your current environment because, you are looking back not forward.

For option A. think more critical and think bigger picture. Think more than just yourself but, everyone around you in the situation. Try to see and understand from their perspective. Also, from that experience what did you learn, take that and use it. See the things that have happened after that experience that would have not happened to you now if not for that. Here is one you may not have thought of, but grieve. Grieving allows you to process and evaluate, observe and reflect. All of these things you will need to do before you can do this last thing.   Lastly, learn to forgive. To forgive does not mean forget. It means finding peace and letting go. Being able to forgive allows you put the power back into your hands and for you to control your own happiness and outcome. We often hear that quote ” Your past does not define your future” because, it doesn’t.  People learn from those circumstances and do great things with them for their selves and others. The past is what it is, but it is not your future. Option B. Here is where you have already completed option A. Even though you have forgave people it is still a struggle to stay motivated  and not fall back into a depression. This will continue to happen until you truly learn to think alteration, letting go and believe it or not, empathetic. All of a sudden you will see things differently and have a different perspective.  You never forget it but, it no longer consumes your thoughts.  You no longer find the need to acknowledge it as often.

Moving forward and letting go.

Myself and so many other people have had insurmountable odds and horrible experiences and circumstances happen to us.  Here is what I tell myself because, as realistic and crude as this sounds, it is the truth. People don’t want to feel pity for me.  People may at some point feel sorry that you had to endure those circumstances but, it is the act of moving forward they are waiting to see.  Sadly enough people also, like see you fail and get pleasure at your expense and pain. Those people you need to remove from your life. Learning to evaluate your situations and break them down into terms that work for you will help you recover.  Moving forward involves more than just evaluating and thinking it also, involves action. You have to be ready for change. Remove those negative people and things from your life. Allow yourself to be excited about your future. Start thinking about what makes you happy, what you want and where you want to go in life. Set goals for yourself, make them realistic and on a time line. Learn to take risk and not be so resistant to changes and opportunities.  Learning to be present in the moment and being mindful of your goals; will allow you to have that inner strengthen you need to find the happiness you deserve.

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