What is it about change that makes it so scary?

Fear can be a major problem. Especially, when you don’t realize that it may be paralyzing you from making decisions, affecting your life, or holding you back. Even when you want to make a change, the idea of following through with it, can be intimidating. As a result, you end up doing nothing at all, settling for less, and clanging wildly to the same chains that hold you back.

I hate to admit that fear has done all of these things to me. The phenomenon of fear is that every time you think, you’ve got it figured out, a new one will always come along. What is it, about the unknown that makes it so uncomfortable and scary?

The truth (which has hit me like a tsunami wave over and over) is that fear never truly subsides. That is what makes change, so difficult. Every moment of our lives, we will be faced with the unknowns that are waiting for us around the next corner. We are afraid to change because we fear the unknown, the uncertainties, and ignore truth or logic; even if it may lead to a better life.

Despite how well we think we know ourselves, the complexity of emotions and understanding them, can prevent us from ruling our own lives. We allow fear and other emotions the power to ignore reasoning and to make unwise decisions. Emotions are frequently complex, varied, and deeply personal. They are a vital part of our everyday lives. The majority of people do not even realize, how many emotions they experience or go through on an average day. We don’t realize how quickly they can come and go, why some linger, and how they affect us.



It took me awhile to understand that change is time-sensitive. Change is a similar to the behavior of chaos. It can be unpredictable, random, sensitive, confusing, and hard to control. For a long time, I always thought of fear as danger, but danger is threatening – fear is not. We associate fear to danger, but it doesn’t necessarily mean something bad is going to happen or that we need to avoid it. Fear may be a survival mode but it also, houses our insecurities and discomforts.

How many times has a situation happened and when you look back – you wish you would have done it differently? Those small moments we wished we would have said, done, or acted on, are the areas we need to focus on. In those moments of hesitations and fears, timing for action is critical.

In an effort to remain comfortable we ignore opportunities and emotions because we don’t want to deal with the discomfort of dealing with them. When we don’t confront our emotions, fears, hesitations, and doubts – we can’t find solutions for them. The chains attached to your comfort area define the limitations that most eventually surrender to and it will always try to hold you back from embracing change.

To conquer fear, we must stand-up to it or do whatever it is that we fear. This is true… yes. However, what I have come to learn about fear, is that it is much more complicated than just facing it. Why isn’t anything ever as simple as it should be? Fear isn’t just something that you can deal with one time and get past it. You must also, learn to be aware of your emotions and how you are reacting to them in your everyday life, not just the bigger moments. This is the only way to truly harness them for better results. It is easier said than done.

It is the lack of emotional awareness and management that cause some of us to never embrace the windows of opportunity. Life has taught me to STOP WAITING FOR IT. By the time hesitation passes – it will be too late. By the time you are no longer afraid of saying, doing, starting, – someone else may have already done it. Waiting for the right timing, circumstances, the money, etc. – is irrelevant. If you want it, work for it while you are hoping and dreaming for it! Time is going to continue to go by and instead of being closer to “arriving” you will be in the same place.

Change can feel terrifying, but you need to look inside yourself. Start slowly and become aware of the emotions that are holding you back. Dedicate yourself to working on them one at a time. Celebrate and embrace the opportunity of change – with it comes the opportunity of living a better life. Find your inner peace and with it, you will find a new type of confidence. Change will come no matter what. It will happen whether you want it to or not.  It’s simply inevitable.

Fear and doubt will always show up every time you are growing as a person. They will show up every time you are find the courage to pursue something new or go after your dreams. When they appear, stand before them with confidence and courage to work through them.